Speaking Engagements  

International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors (IAMFC)

2025 IAMFC World Conference, New Orleans, LA (January 9-11, 2025)

Addressing Christian Couples’ Errant Faith-Based Approach to Pornography Challenges, Common with Easy Technological Access
“I’m told I’m not availing myself enough to my spouse for intimacy, therefore I'm contributing to his porn attachment or addiction.”  
“I’m supposed to be submissive to my husband.” 

Counselors will be given techniques to address these perplexing scenarios with their clients.  When a counselor learns the faith values of their client, they can undo errant biblical teaching and demonstrate that their faith tradition does have proper teaching which is supported by the counselor’s therapeutic values, ensuring a successful outcome of counseling.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES

1.  Identify and discern between "authentic" and "pseudo"-Christian teachings regarding consent and intimacy for couples.

2.  Recognize that the essence of Christian teaching encompasses love, acceptance, and agency, which is also the essence of modern sexuality teaching.

3.  Educators, counselors, and therapists will be able to relate to their clients with conservative Christian values with confidence and not dread, equipped with tools to further their clients' spiritual journeys.

Presentation is from the point of view of a theologian and couples counselor, presenting to the psychotherapeutic community.

Presented by Paul Paiva, M.Div., M.A., EBC
 

Feb 2024

2024 IAMFC World Conference, St. Petersburg, Florida (February 1-3, 2024)

The Enneagram as a Modality in Couples Counseling
Using the lens of the Enneagram, great strides can be made to help the counselor earn the trust of each party, and for giving insights to each person to understand their partner’s behaviors and motivations, allowing for empathy and intimacy to develop between the couple.  Cursory Enneagram knowledge is desirable to benefit from this presentation.

When a couple arrives for a first counseling session, often one person is motivated to engage in the counseling process, and the other person’s investment may be suspicious, lackadaisical, or even feigned.  It is essential that the counselor can win the trust of both parties, paving the road for an engaged process by both parties.  If trust is not established with both of them, a second or third session may not happen.

When significant obstacles exist such as criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling (Gottman), with the Enneagram the counselor can have laser-sharp skills to help the clients see in themselves and in their partner, the underlying innate motivations, blind spots, compulsions, and avoidances.  These insights can often help a couple to breakthrough these obstacles, creating safety for the both parties to engage in the process with an optimistic attitude. 

In the presentation I will review a few cases that demonstrate how various obstacles of trust can be addressed and rectified by the counselor using an Enneagram lens, and transformed into understanding, trust, and empathy for the couple.

Presented by Paul Paiva, M.Div., M.A., EBC