About Paul

Author

Among various passions, Paul is currently focusing on writing his upcoming memoir.

Speaking

Pastoral Counseling

Enneagram Instructor

Workshops for Churches or Organizations

Wedding Officiant

Not simply saying a few words to facilitate your vows, but rather telling your love story in a way that will captivate your guests, allowing them to appreciate the depth of love you have for each other, which is why you invited them to be guests in your celebration.

Pre-marital counseling.

Bio

Rev. Paul Paiva, M.Div., M.A., is a former Roman Catholic priest who performs romantic and entertaining wedding ceremonies. He is a devout Christian who is sex-positive, meaning an acceptance that sexual pleasure is something that is beautiful and an essential part of being a human. He does pastoral couples counseling, pre-marital counseling for engaged couples, and is a certified intimacy & sex educator who teaches the Erotic Blueprints™ from a Christian perspective, for singles and couples who want to ignite their passion, including those affected by religion-induced shame. He teaches the Enneagram and uses it as a tool for personal growth for couples, individuals, and groups. Paul actively blogs, vblogs, and speaks on various topics on faith and intimacy.

Background in Pastoral Counseling

When I was a committed, celibate priest, women and men came to me for pastoral counseling; many were married, engaged, or dating. Over the years I observed that these people knew more about Love than I did. In relationships, you talk, dialogue, compromise, and discuss. You learn empathy, how to listen, how to be selfless, how to be loving and caring. You may have differences in your values. Or differences in libido. Or have different political affiliations. As a celibate priest living in the rectory, because I was not in a romantic relationship, I was at risk for being complacent about my spiritual growth. My congregation put me on a pedestal. I could become arrogant, aloof, and uncaring, and I would likely not be challenged. That cannot happen in a thriving relationship. It is truly a beautiful vehicle for becoming a more loving human being.

Qualifications and Certifications

Master of Divinity (MDiv), emphasis in pastoral counseling, not a therapist
Master of Arts in Theology (M.A.)
American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), Professional Member, Divisions:
American Counseling Association (ACA), Professional Member, Divisions:
- International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors (IAMFC)
- Association of Counseling Sexology and Sexual Wellness (ACSSW)
- Association for Spiritual, Ethical, and Religious Values in Counseling (ASERVIC)
Former pastor and priest, Roman Catholic Church
Certified Erotic Blueprint™ Sex Educator
International Enneagram Association (IEA)Enneagram Colorado (Colorado Chapter IEA)
- Former President and Board Member (2004-2006, 2015-2022)
- Professional member
Enneagram Instructor with CoCreative Intimacy, CoCreative Workshops, CoCreative Journeys, and Enneagram Colorado
Certified SYMBIS facilitator for Pre-Marital Preparation.
Sixteen years officiating wedding ceremonies and working with couples for pre-marital preparation and couples counseling

View profile on PsychologyToday.com

Continuing Education

International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors 2025 (IAMFC), New Orleans, LA
- Safeguarding Online Privacy: Approaches to Navigating Digital Safety for Practitioners and Family
  - Joseph Pistorius, Licensed Professional Counselor, PhD, LPC-SA, NCC
  - Robert Casares, Licensed Professional Counselor, PhD, LCMHC, NCC
- Ethical Challenges when Working with Couples
  - Martina Moore, Counselor, PhD, LPCC-S, LICDC-C, CEAP, SAP
- Prepared for Conflict: Incorporating High Conflict Separation/Divorce into Counselor Education
  - Chris Schmidt, Counselor, PhD, LPCC-S, LICDC-C, CEAP, SAP
  - Jenai Grigg, Assistant Dean of General Education, Holy Family University, Philadelphia, PA
- Infidelity in the Digital Age
  - Dr. Jeannelle Perkins, Marriage & Family Therapist, PhD, LMFT-S, EMDR
International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors 2024 (IAMFC), Tampa, FL
- Gottman Method Couples Therapy: A New Look at the Concept of Homeostasis 7/2023,
  - Jeff White PhD, LMFT
American Counseling Association (ACA), March 2023 Annual Conference, Toronto, Canada
- Sex and the Sacred - Complex intersections of Sex and Religion in Counseling
  - Hanna Barnhill Bayne, PhD, LPC, LMHC
- Using Faith Practices in the Healing of Trauma
  - Nicole G. Johnson, PhD, Angelle E. Richardson, PhD, LPC
- Human Sexuality Counseling: A Sex Positive Approach
  - Angela Schubert, PhD, LPC, CCMHC, NCC
- Why and How Counselors Should be Saying "Let's Talk about Sex" to our Clients
  - John T. Super, PhD
Trauma-Informed Sex Education, 2021
- Marty Stani, LCSW